In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
