1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I woke up under a house in Key West
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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