She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
