Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
