So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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