He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Green mimosas i think yes
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
