do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
