I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
