She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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