Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Ketchup is God's man juice
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
