is your mom at the bar?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
