i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
