So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
