my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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