is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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