She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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