We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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