I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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