whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
