do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
