He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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