Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize