I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
my being single is dangerous.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
