I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just high enough for therapy.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize