I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
