So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
