just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
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