im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
