wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
