dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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