Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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