Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
