Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
