I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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