its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
