someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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