How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
