Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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