i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
