I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
