Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
