considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i dont even know how to be here
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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