We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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