On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Couch. On fire.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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