so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
