Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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