It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
