Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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