Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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