I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She even gives head with a lisp.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
