Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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