If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize