nut hugger
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
