make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
