2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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