Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Randomize
