Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
