What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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