week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
