oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
