:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
