It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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