you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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