i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
