you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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