A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
